Valentine Anti-heartbreak tip: Maintain a professional love for your favourite artiste

Happy valentines day ladies. Yeah you didn't read wrong, I said it. Maintain a professional love for your favourite artiste. Buy their music, like their music, play their music...even find them hot, but don't step into that zone where you start to make assumptions about their character and what they can and cannot do. And this is for the fellas too (doh watch mih funny), maintain that distance mih brethren. Don't understand why I'm calling out fellas too? How many men get hurt and badly wounded when Sizzla first when down the wrong road to "pump up er poom poom"? I remember days yonder when men used to quote Sizzla more then they own bible and in fact, that was the only way in which some men even knew about scripture. Yeah, so people, like them, but don't assume.

Now as the headlining picture suggests, this article is influenced by the Rihanna and Chris Brown situation. Personally, I am a little strange as a 26 year old Trinidadian male in the fact that actually I liked the music of both artistes involved. I was like the only person in Trinidad who actually enjoyed Rihanna's performance when she came to Trinidad - this performance was panned by every pen writing person with the time for an opinion at the time. I was also probably the tallest person in the Chris Brown concert and one of the only ones not screaming at the top of my lungs (I even wrote an article about it). With that being said, even though I still can't see Chris Brown having the testicular fortitude to hit anyone, I can't say I'm surprised. I (thankfully) don't see the fella when he taking a dump or when he pulling coverlet and dribbling on himself so how de hell would I know anything about him that his music label didn't painstakingly market to me? And as the story is slowly being revealed, I don't doubt that we may find shocking stuff about Rihanna hidden under her umbrella.

And I don't understand what all the shock is about in general. Remember the Akon who before Trinidad maintained an image of being "locked up" and a "soul survivor"? Who knew that he could be so 'wotless' with that under-aged girl (yeah, under-aged girl is redundant) or any girl for that matter? De man just spread de girl like a blanket and proceeded to shine the floor of Zen for Johnny Sung as if that was in the contract. Then in the aftermath, a simple google search revealed that this gunta has done the same thing before as well as lied to a significant degree about his whole convict persona and suddenly, the mirror cracks and the real image is not as pretty as the virtual one.

The last year has had a lot of these wtf moments as well. Rick Ross, now known as Officer Ricky, has built a career claiming to be a boss and a real as they come. Honestly, I never understood the whole 'boss' thing because I have a boss and trust me, he not so tough. That aside, de mark buss and dis fella was actually putting men in jail as a prisons officer right around the time when he was supposed to be ruling the streets and breaking the law. Then there was Young Buck, ex-G unit member, who was recorded crying on the phone by 50 cent about money problems. Young Berg is a next one who got slapped and had his chain snatched on separate occasions. Mos Def was found to have multiple children with many baby mamas. Even Machel was...wait a minute. That one wasn't unexpected. But you get my point. This stuff happens all the time.

If you really think about it, the problem doesn't lie with the artiste. They are just trying to become wealthy and eat a food. The problem lies with us because, as humans, we crave fantasies. Even if an artiste is coming off as a normal person, they must be a fantastic normal person. They have to be the most normal person in the history of normal people, which is, not normal. We demand these fantasies which in turn, allow people to 'eat a food' by being becoming professionals at building them. How is it that a fat man who looks like a black cross between E.Honda and Zangief could ever be even thought of as gangsta - because people are damn good at that sh*t. And what's more they do it for us. So we can get into the music and enjoy it because everyone knows that normal people are incapable of making good music. Right?

So in all the fantasy, doh get tie up. Artiste are animals. Like me. I will pick up a chicken with my bare hands and devour it, even in a posh restaurant...I eh business. I sure allyuh didn't even know a gentleman like me used to conduct it so. Trust me, we artistes are animals. Actually, we're far worse than animals. We're human beings like everyone else.