The Chuck Norris Laws (Trinidad Style)

If you're familiar with the original Chuck Norris internet scene then you know that Chuck Norris is a pretty strong guy who can do amazing things. Well, on Facebook a few weeks ago a friend of mine Kendall "Icekream" Arneaud decided to explore the Chuck Norris scene within a trini context and the results are below. Big up Q D Ross, Merriq Estates, Kendall, Baidawi and yours truly for contributions. Trust me, is reallll funny stuff.


1) Chuck Norris beats his steel pan with his bare knuckles.

2) When Chuck Norris puts on a bata bullet, it becomes a bata missile.

3) Chuck Norris told Bunji to change his name from fireman to waterboy...and he did

4) Chuck Norris' version of the dollar wine goes: cent, 5 cent, 10 cent, 100!

5) Chuck Norris kicks roast corn into chilli bibbi.

6) Buhwamoder sang slap chop for chuck Norris....Chuck Norris slapped him and chopped him

7) Bmobile gives Chuck Norris' phone reception everywhere.

8) The iPhone logo on Chuck Norris' cell has a capital I.

9) Chuck Norris finds Angostura bitters sweet.

10) TTT never signed off in Chuck Norris' house.

11) Chuck Norris orders his pepper with slight doubles

12) Iwer george wrote the hand hand hand song after receiving one slap from Chuck Norris

13) The strongman toffee was made of Chuck Norris' snat

14) When Chuck Norris waving a rag in a fete, Jamaica does be on hurricane watch.

15) For Chuck Norris, a trip to tobago is a 2 hour boat ride, 5 minute plane ride or 1 minute swim.

16) Chuck Norris still smokes weed in Globe

17) CHUCK NORRIS cud PLAY MAS cause POWDER fraid him!

18) What Chuck Norris considers to be wining low is what we call limbo.

19) You could actually get chook by Chuck Norris' bbm pin.

20) When Chuck Norris bowling the wicket keeper does stand up by the boundary.

21) Chuck Norris can tell you where the man with the hammer gone

22) The active ingredient that gives diana power mints their sting is Chuck Norris sweat.

23) If yuh spill puncheon Chuck Norris will rough you up for wasting chaser.

24) Chuck Norris posts status updates on a real wall.

25) Chuck Norris tweets with real birds

Ten Reasons Why Bad Soca Music Is YOUR Fault

1) You convinced Machel that Road March is more important than good music, the opposite of what he learned years ago.


2) You let Iwer George win road march with a song containing a chorus that mentions the word "hand" over 20 times.


3) You let ragga soca aka 'soca with lyrics' die rendering Bunji Garlin a fish out of water.


4) You robbed Destra Garcia at least one soca monarch and two road march titles.


5) You only now realised in 2011 that Benjai is a big artiste.


6) You let Chinese Laundry advantage KMC in years when he had several big tunes.


7) You let Shurwayne Winchester win road march twice with the same song.


8) You disapprove of chutney rum songs but support them under the influence of rum.


9) You support(ed) the trend of half-assed dancehall soca collaborations starting with "Rubber Waist" by Machel and Red Rat (yeah I liked that song but it was half-assed).


10) You let deejays not only control what gets played via the soca mafia but now make a hustle out of we music.

Da Face: Music Plans for 2k11

Hey folks was de scene. I haven't updated my blog in about two months being busy dropping my new mixtape "Recession Music 2" but all that's going to change this year. First off, I'm outlining my musical plans so you will know what to look out for. I have captured everything in a short video but if vids aren't your thing you can also catch the gist even further down.



1) Three free mixtapes in 2011 - you have to join the mailing list to access them though (check below)





2) A music video for "Born Smart" soon after carnival. It will most likely be done by Aaron "Tiny" Richards, the same guy who did the video for "Stress".

3) At least three shows from me. I'll still be in open mics across the country but those three shows will be my personal productions.

Yeah so that's it in a nutshell. Stay tuned for more updates. Face out.

Face Mondays 6: Trini Punchlines

For a rapper, it shows skill to be able to come up with the funniest, cleverest and most creative punchlines. On this track we do just that but trini style. If you're a trini then you know de scene already but if not then listen close and take in some of our expressions and culture. Also, check some of my songs below. Face out.

Face Mondays 5: Cartoon Rap

This week is all about the new song "Cartoon Rap". When it comes to music I like to do things different and this one definitely falls into that category. Next week we "Face Mondays" again in another different way.



Also, check out all the videos I have released so far below. Not slide-show eh, real ting.
Face out.

Face Mondays 4: More ting

Some men do tracks bout how much girl they pimp etc. Me? Nah. My new song is about all the girls I almost got. You know when you have the girl in the bag and some last minute chupidness mess everything up? Yeah, that's what I talking bout. So check it out, the brand new teaser for the song "Almost".



Also, my first mixtape Recession Music is online free to listen to and download so take it in. Check me on facebook every Monday for more updates and freeness. Face out.

Face Mondays 3: Hitchhiker's Guide to Uwi FREE!!!

Don't frighten, you read right. Hitchhiker's Guide to Uwi is going to be free for a limited time. Check how it's going down:

1) Free to listen until I release the next video single from my upcoming mixtape "Recession Music 2: Face Value".

2) If you wish to download the album, email your request to me at davidbchamilton@yahoo.com. I have the album in both mp3 and the higher quality flac format so you'll need to specify. If you don't, you'll get the mp3 version by default.

And without further ado, listen to the album below. Enjoy! Let me know what you think. Share if you like it most importantly, in your facebook, twitter, via email etc. Be trini (at least for a while if you aren't) and enjoy the freeness. Face out.